Is confidence a bad thing?

Confidence: To believe in ones self, ones abilities, full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.

Seems pretty solid in definition but in reality a very shaky and sensitive ground for most, if most were to be honest. Yesterday after being asked a series of questions that first started out as an easy going inquisitive conversation between two single women, turned out in the end to be a angry judgmental one because as they put it I had too much confidence. I asked... is that even possible? NO, Is confidence a bad thing? NO. That is if it's real. I assure you my confidence is real, but not in self...

Here's the thing I'm confidant in lots of areas of my life but there are also things from day to day I'm very unsure of when it comes to life, myself, raising my children and even down to cooking and cleaning. However the source of confidence I do have and maintain is in the God I serve and it's only because of that I'm am able to make it. If it were left up to me, most days I'd never leave my home. I'd take one look in the mirror and say oh no... can't go anywhere looking like this and honesty it's how i feel each day before, spending my one on one time alone with the Lord each day. So the confidence she seen wasn't me, it's the Lord showing through me. 

There was a time in my life when material things meant more to me than I meant to myself. The passion I put into, looking the part, playing the part, driving the part, dating the part, fake smiling the part of a happy women was tons of work. A majority of the time, the requirement were so overwhelming I still found myself, hiding behind locked doors and away from those I thought  at the time important , just to get a breather. I dare not allow them to see I had a weakness and was a FAKE. I felt like those people could make or break me and truth be told because of the faith and confidence level was, they very well could have broken me because I had no real confidence in myself let along The Lord.

So here I am many years later, have so much less material wise, but stand before you one of the most truly confidant women or individuals I know. My joy is real, my life is amazing, my children are awesome, my businesses are doing very well, I'm surrounded by people who truly love and care for me, Everywhere I go I have favor and I'm not kidding and anything I set out to do I do very well,if i put my heart and mind to it but it's not me... I can't take credit for any of it, It's all God. 

Me,alone = Not so confidant
Me in Christ = unstoppable, undeniable, joyful, beautiful, loving, caring, wise, fun, exciting, unselfish, highly favored and so much more.

WOW, so perhaps looking at it that way, one who is on the same shaky fake foundation I once stood on, I would have way to much confidence. Is that even possible?

The word of God says this about confidance:

"For the LORD will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught."
Proverbs 3:26

"In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence,
And His children will have a place of refuge."
Proverbs 14:26

"For we are the circumcision, who worship God in the Spirit,
rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh,
though I also might have confidence in the flesh.
If anyone else thinks he may have confidence in the flesh, I more so:"
Philippians 3:3-4 

"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him,
that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us."
1 John 5:14

"Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us,
we have confidence toward God."
1 John 3:21

"Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord,
who have no confidence in the proud or  in those who worship idols."
Psalm 40:4

Those is where I stand in the confidence and my confidence is int he Lord God.

No Payday Loans

This morning I woke up with a urgency to walk my floors and Praise the Lord. For the first time in a very long time, we are going without. Without alot, yet I know it's only temporary but making my mind get in line with my heart has required me to get up and worship the Lord, even in my Valley's. Despite, not having much in the pantry, in the gas tank, I had to remember, that i have my health and had the means to pay for my surgery,I have my children, our home, and our joy. So it's ok that we don't have much else... we need to diet anyways. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

In the valley's there should still be praise. I had to come around to lifting the Lords name on high this morning and loudly, so that I could breakthrough the ceiling and made sure my praises got to the Lord, not my wants, desires or needs but my praises...If I'm to trust the Lord in all that I do, than giving him Praise is far more appropriate for knowing whats going to come about instead of walking in daily fear of the unknown. In my praise my peace come and I'm surely going to enjoy the rest of my day as it was meant to be enjoyed.

On the suggestion of everyone around me i needed to run out and obtain a payday loan right away. Theses are all individuals who know God as Jehova- Jireh, our provider but are showing no faith in Him as being so by giving me this advice. The Lord is Jehova - Nissh, my banner, he will keep us covered until he rains and storms stop. I don't know about you, but personally, I love a good storm because I know that afterward, everything will be green and grow. I'm ready for my growth. I'm right now only being fertilized.( smile).

Have a Blessed and wonderful day,
Anna Marie

The Replacements

Who are they, where do they come from, how do you send them back????

As much as I have enjoyed my children over the years, watching them blossom into these strange creatures called teens has been, well… quite the ride and a fun one at that. I was told many many years ago, that because my children had Autism, they would never ever be able to show me love, express themselves or show emotion. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to the medical science and put my faith and trust in the Lord for if I hadn’t I’d most likely be like the countless other parents out there with a special needs child… miserable, unhappy, sad, depressed and angry at the world as they struggle to understand why?

Me, I’ve never asked why, I just went with the punches. When they started to spin, I started to spin, when they started to squeal, I started to squeal, when they started to flap... Well, Ok I started to laugh, but it worked for us. We made it and we are here today still rising above what was expected. Sure we have our days and will continue to have our days, but If the Lord is on our side, those days simply don’t measure up to the blessing.

So I can’t help but wonder, after it’s all said and done, where my babies have gone? Just yesterday they were leaning on me for everything and today, they are putting me in check about my inconsistencies. A strange new world I live in with these replacements. It’s no longer mom, can or may I, it’s I’m going to. It’s no more, ok mom, sure, it’s YEAH, maybe and I guess if I’m to be perfectly honest, I kinda like em but I dare not tell them that, or they will get the upper hand.

Two Frogs

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.


Yields: 12 to 14 popovers
4 cups milk (warmed)
8 large eggs
4 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/4 cup grated gruyere cheese

1. Place the popover pan in the oven. Heat the oven and pan to 350F.

2. Gently warm the milk over low heat and set aside.

3. Whisk egg until frothy and slowly whisk in the milk (so as not to cook the eggs). Set the mixture aside.

4. Sift the flour with the salt. Slowly add this mixture and gently combine until mostly smooth. Once the mixture and gently combine until mostly smooth.

5. Once combined remove the popover pan from the oven and spray with non-stick vegetable spray. While the batter is slight warm or room temperature, fill each popover cup with 3/4 full.

6. Top each popover with approximately 2 1/2 Tbsp. of grated gruyere.

7. Bake at 350F for 50 minutes, rotating pan half a turn after 15 minutes of baking.

8. Remove fro the oven, remove from the pan and serve immediately.

The Valley's

Yesterday while speaking with another parent of a son about the same age as Elijah, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said. You know Anna, people just don't understand how exhausting it is to have a child with Autism. I have only one, but you have three and I'm worn out. How in the world do you keep going? My response..."I've come to love my Valley's."

When we are on the “mountaintops” in our lives, we can see our future clearly. We have perspective and confidence. When we are in one of life’s valleys, however, our vision is limited and our future seems hidden. Yet valleys are also the most fertile places on earth. These are times which will produce fruitfulness in our walk with Christ. And you can expect there to be a harvest of virtue when God lives with you in the valleys.

The Lord's promise to me as a mother, was if I were to remain obedient, there would be a sure future in it for my children and since I trust and believe in what the Lord God has promised me, while in my Valley's I find peace.

The pathways of God's people are not always in the sunshine and invigorating air of the mountain top; our experiences often involve our passing through the lowland, the valleys. It is one's desire that we all may find the "comfort of the Scriptures" in such experiences.

Check out the Valley's mentioned in scripture.... Their undeniable.

The pathways of God's people are not always in the sunshine and invigorating air of the mountain top; our experiences often involve our passing through the lowland, the valleys. It is one's desire that we all may find the "comfort of the Scriptures" in such experiences.

When God spoke of His earthly people possessing the land to which He would bring them, He said that it was "a land of hills and valleys," (Deuteronomy 11: 11); but He also spoke of "fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills," (Deuteronomy 8: 7). Thus there is provision for the refreshing of our souls whatever may be the circumstances in which we are found.

In Psalm 104: 8, we see that "valleys" are actually a creation of God Himself, "the valleys sank, unto the place which thou hadst founded for them," (New Trans.). We can therefore accept our "valley" circumstances as the ordering of God, and rejoice in the knowledge that "he sendeth the springs into the valleys" (v. 10). How blessed to hear Him say to His people, "I the LORD will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them, I will open . . . fountains in the midst of the valleys," (Isaiah 41: 17, 18).

Again we read in Psalm 65: 13, "The valleys also are covered over with corn; they shout for joy, they also sing." Refreshment, support and a joy that cannot be restrained are the portion of those passing through the valleys of God.

David was a man who knew what "valley" experiences were. In the valley of Elah, as a type of the Lord Jesus, he knew what derision and scorn were (1 Samuel 17: 28), and he knew what conflict meant. But in the list of the "king's treasures" we read of "the herds that were in the valleys," (1 Chronicles 27: 29). If we consider for a moment the anti-type, what increase and substance has accrued as the result of that conflict in the valley! Do we not adoringly own that all the joy and blessing which is ours has come to us through the going down of the One who loved us; He who went into the very valley of death itself?

It is possible for us to find ourselves in "valley" circumstances as the result of our own failures, an experience involving sorrow of heart. In Joshua 7, the people of God are found in the "valley of Achor" — the valley of sorrow, consequent upon their defeat by the men of Ai. Achan (which means "troubler") had coveted "a goodly Babylonish garment, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight," (v. 21). It was the "goodly Babylonish garment which apparently attracted him first, something which would cause him to be outstanding and give him prominence before others. Doubtless he considered the silver and the gold would help him to keep up this prominent position. Alas! how often the desire for self-examination has brought in conditions of sorrow amongst God's people! The "valley of sorrow" remains "unto this day," (v. 26). yet the light of sovereign mercy shines even in the gloom of such a valley. In Isaiah 65: 10, we read "the valley of Achor (shall be) a place for the herds to lie down in, for My people that have sought Me". If failure has come in, with its consequent sorrow, the remedy is to seek the Lord. He alone can make such circumstances to yield blessing and substance to truly repentant hearts. Again we read in Hosea 2: 15, "I will give her . . the valley of Achor for a door of hope; and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day she came up out of the land of Egypt." Who but God could fill the "valley of sorrow" with the joyful strains of Exodus 15?

There is a further reference to the valley of Achor in Joshua 15: 7, in relation to the lot of Judah, and careful study of that verse, and the route given, will yield much for the exercised heart.

Psalm 84 introduces another valley — the "valley of Baca," which is the valley of weeping. This speaks of the deep exercises which belong to those whose desires are towards the living God and towards His habitation. As appreciating the mercy of God — and as longing for His interests, our hearts are conscious of the contrary scene through which we are passing, but as finding our strength in God (v. 5), and our affections making room for His ways, we find the vale of weeping turned into "a well-spring; yea, the early rain covereth it with blessings," (v. 6, New Trans.). The blessing of God moves quickly towards those whose hearts are truly set upon Himself, and whilst still in the valley of weeping, the whole scene is filled with the consciousness of His inexhaustible supplies of refreshment and blessing.

In 2 Chronicles 20, in the days of Jehoshaphat, a great multitude of the enemies of God's people were arrayed against them, but in the power of the prophetic word of Jahaziel ("seen of God") they moved forward to complete victory. As obedient to the word of God they were able to assemble "themselves in the valley of Berechah; for there they blessed the LORD; therefore the name of the same place was called, The valley of Berechah (blessings) unto this day," (v.26). In the history of the Church men who have opposed the truth have often brought the saints into conditions of anguish and distress, but as waiting upon God and giving place to His word, the apparent defeat has been turned into a "valley of blessings" in which the praises of God have issued from the hearts of His people. This was true in the so-called dark ages, when many a Swiss valley rang with the praises of God's people, and it is equally true to-day. God is "The Same;" and His word abides in all its unalterable power and authority.

The taunt of the Syrians was "the LORD is God of the hills, but He is not the God of the valleys." God's answer to this was the complete deliverance of His people.

There is no valley experience which is beyond the reach of the love of God. The Psalmist could say "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me". Thus in the darkest valley of all, where the strongest enemy is found, we have not only the inexhaustible blessings of our God, but His actual presence with us. In Mark 5, we see Jairus passing through such a valley, and it is said (v. 24), "Jesus went with him." When the shadow had deepened, and his daughter was dead, what comfort there must have been to his bereaved heart in the precious words of Christ, "Be not afraid, only believe," (v. 36).

If the experiences of the "valleys" are to yield their fruit there must be real exercise in relation to them. The valley of Eschol was "searched out," and as the fruit of the searching was "in their hand," they were able to say, "It is a good land which the LORD our God doth give us," (Deuteronomy 1: 24, 25).

Above all the blessing that may be ours as we move through these exercises with God — there is the fruit which accrues to the heart of the blessed Lord Himself — "I went down . . to see the fruits (verdure) of the valley, to see whether the vine budded, whether the pomegranates blossomed. Before I was aware, My soul set me upon the chariots of My willing people." (Solomon's Song 6: 11, 12. New Trans.). Is He not worthy of our willing praise?

Just one of many personal moments of insanity…

Hi, my name is Q. Anna Marie and below is a testimony of just one of my moments of insanity.

While most are tucked away in their beds getting must deserved rest as to renew themselves for the day’s events. I sat steady at my
PC, working away on a project for a new client. Realizing it was time for me to take a much needed break, I took a quick glimpse of my computer clock!???? 4:27 a.m. are you serious? Yes folks I had managed to get so involved with what I was doing I didn’t realize I had worked right through the night and into the wee hours of the morning. What makes it even worse; I had no clue that much time had past. I seriously thought it was closer to midnight than anything. It figures, was my immediate thought followed by going for a peaceful slow paced run in the wonderful mist that had formed outside. Yep! I had just that much energy. Yet, even more so than that, I hardly get any alone time. Having home schooled two out of three children this year left me with NO time but the wee hours of the morning to get some peace and quite. So at this point I’m taking it all in. What better way than to use my energy than to start off with an hour alone with the Lord, so I opt out of my run for that.

As soon as I’m done, I can finally feel the sleepiness setting in. PERFECT! So I off my knees turn around and scream bloody murder… there standing behind me in complete silence was Eli in the midst of the darkness. He, catching me off guard sends him into wild hysterics over the event: “
Haaaaaaa I scared mom!” All the while pointing and now doubled over in stance. My Response… Praise God, I didn’t deck my child. Here is a bit of honesty… when I get scared I fight, fair warning!!!! LOL Then I just get caught up in his very infectious laughter.

“Elijah, you would get up when I’m ready to go to bed. Boy I’m sleepy, you’re on your own, I say jokingly.”

“But we don’t have anything for breakfast” came his reply.

“Followed by OH CRAP!,
Opps Lord forgive me” All I could think is. I’m so sleepy… Whyyyyyyyyyyy! It’s my own fault, lol and with that reminder, Eli and I pack up in the truck and head to the Store. At this point I’m dragging, and a tad irritable but mindful of the situation and decide it best to find something easy for lunch and dinner as well. I pretty much felt I’d be missing church already and I’m pretty much certain the Lord fully understood. With each min passing I grow increasingly delirious, lol. Because up to this point I had actually been up a full 28 hours and counting (Yeah I know horrible). Elijah senses my weakness because that’s what all children do and hits me with all his might, “Hey MOM can we have ice cream for breakfast?” I look at him and catch the most amazing smile; I’m talking from ear to ear. I let out a sigh…” I don’t care” But you can’t just have Ice cream what are you going to put with it?
YEP! My personal moment

They had Ice cream and brownies for breakfast. Roman noodles for lunch but in all fairness. LOL Home made beef
stroganoff for Dinner. … THANK YOU ( taking a bow)

You may all carry on now!!!!!!

They choose their weapons wisely

So I heard Elijah and Tiara in the living room, where I left each of them to start on their chores, cracking up. The laughter was so intense, I couldn't help myself from giggling and it peeked my interest. So of course I just had to get up from my work to see what hoo ha was all about. So delighted with the prospects of getting a good LOL in, I walked into the living room, then immediately did an about face and came right back to my office trying to make sense of what I just seen.

Yesterday, I went shopping for cleaning supplies. I bought all of my goodies ( trust me they become goodies when your a stay at home, work from home mother ,lol) home and neatly tucked them away in their proper places. I also found for the first time, large industrial size bottles of Febrez, I was thrilled, I mean doesn't need an INDUSTRIAL SIZE of this stuff , right? So I did the only right thing, I bought two because two of everything is important. I mean even putting my obviously ocd aside,  Seaseme Street is bound to set you straight.... 
One would think that having that much Febrez, you'd keep it around for a while, except when it comes to my household and my children. You see I no longer have either bottle of my special industrial size of extra strength febrez, because for some unknown( to me) reason, my children decided to take the bottles of febrez and have a febrez fight. When I walked int he room, they actually  pointing it at one another and spraying away, which had them both in hysterics.  So I did what any mother who is striving to remain sane did. I walked out and ignored it.

It's been a few hours now and I have a wonderful justified reason for allowing it to all go down. My home and two out of three children still smells wonder!